Doing More vs. Being More

Today we're going to get a little more real as I share some things that have been on my mind that probably has some application to you all as well. Okay, I know it does ;) So let's get dirty. 

So I'll be honest, It;s been one of those seasons where I feel like my life has increasingly become an exercise of trying to fit as much activity, connection, and opportunity as possible into every week. Sometimes, it's quite fun. Other times, its quite exhausting. Part of this is intentional-as an athlete and business owner, you want to excel and make a difference, you have to put the time in. This is the part I love-taking what you have, who you're working with, and maximizing what's right in front of you  at that given time. 

More is not always more. 

The part I don't love is when my 'Off" switch gets jammed (I mean, don't you just hate that!?). Like many of you, I find myself so often falling into the trap that I constantly have to be 'doing more' in order to be proving my value to others/myself or just simply keep up with the perceived pace of things in life and work. Hint: I say 'perceived pace' because ultimately that is what it is. WE set the pace of our lives, not the other way around. Remember that.

Do you ever find yourself joining one more organization, accepting one more assignment, saying 'yes' to that thing you really didn't want to say yes to? Why? What about feeling guilty for taking a break or feeling like you're stuck on a proverbial conveyor belt that you can't get off of, because if you dare jump off-something bad might happen, like really bad. So bad we cannot articulate what the consequence actually is.  And it's all about the hustle and the grind, right?! That's what we've all been made to believe. But what exactly will happen to us? It may actually be nothing. Really. So why so scared?

Don't lose the game. What game? 

Really, what are we so afraid of? Most of this is based on observation and experience, but I believe that as a culture, many of us have bought into the notion that we need to do more to be more. All you have to do is scroll down on your social media feeds or your TV set to see this idea reinforced. That or just  listen in on conversations we have or are part of. "So and so is doing this" "How can we top that?" "Don't lose the game", whatever. I'll stop giving examples because it's tiring me out to do so! Remember, humans seem hard-wired for making things at least ten times more difficult than they already are. It's our brain and stuff. Anyhow, moving on-

Of course, for me, being one with an affinity for pushing myself and live a full life, I'm not stranger to the mindset of 'just getting one more thing in'-whatever that is; on any given day-one more mile, one more email, one more session, etc. It's part of the reason of why I've achieved the success I have-so it serves a partly adaptive function. And sometimes it feels really good. This post is not about those other times.

So, where is the magical line here? 

For you fellas, I have no idea. For me-because I'm Adrienne and this is my blog and everything- however, it comes down to my 'why' for doing whatever it is for what I'm doing. According to Sport Psychologist Cindra Kamphoff, if we don't have a clear connection to our 'why' for our goals and what it is we do then we risk burnout and a loss of sight of why we started doing the thing in the first place. This goes for sports, business, education, or any other organization or interest we pursue.  

I find revisiting the 'why' for doing things to be crucial. When we line up what we do as athletes, professionals, or students with our values, we can do so much. We start looking outwardly and in the wrong places, we're kinda screwed. Then we start heading the down the "I have to do more until infinity" pathway. Yeah...

Now where exactly are we going here? 

Glad you asked. 

So anyway, I've rambled on enough about the subject of doing more-now how the heck do we go about 'being more'?

"Being" more or something may actually sound pressure-laiden at first, but hear me out; sometimes if we focus on BEING more, the doing more takes care of itself. Remember how well the "doing more" works for some personality types??

Don't know about you, but I often find that being precedes doing a lot of the time. Mind blown, right? Okay, probably not but whatever. 

So how do we take a more internally-driven, being-over-doing mindset? Consider reflecting on the following concepts of BEing. To break it down a little more for all of you, think of these ideas, and then imagine "what would being more ______ look and feel like?" Still don't know-this is an awesome discussion topic. Whip this sucker out at your local coffee shop and see what happens ;)

So what if we all tried to 'BE" a little more of some of these things? 

-More present.

-More open.

-Less judgmental.

-More deliberate.

-More kind to others.

-More adaptable.

-More patient.

-More focused.

-More spiritual.

-More kind to yourself (!!!!!) 

-More forgiving.

-More yourself.

Try some of that on and see how it fits. 

The list can go on and on, but I think that's a good starter pack. This is a great way to help increase self worth and efficacy.  Focus on just one or two of those attributes on any given day, week, whatever makes sense to you. I am trying myself to put this into practice daily; while I think I have the being myself pretty much down (I dare you find someone who knows me who doesn't agree!). However, the being more focused and present part...ehhhhh I could use to put my phone down much more and attend to what's right in front of me instead of trying to save the world with a swipe down, then right, while emailing and trying to have a conversation. Yes I once tried that. It didn't go well.

So what about you? How often do you find yourself in the "doing more" trap and how can you work on '"being more"? It could be anything. Hope I got some of you thinking today and keep enjoying the process. Now go put your phone down and get on it!