Do as I (didn't) do

Today we're going all in on the psychology of running; actually more so the psychology of racing. I hope you're excited. If not, that's ok too-not everybody geeks out as hard on this stuff as I do!

I actually wrote the majority of this post in my head during a recovery run as I processed my season opener race the day before. And in case you were wondering, writing a post in my head was a great dissociation strategy from how sore I was....

So this story begins with an 8k race downtown after a couple months of solid (like some of the best in years) training. Nearly every workout was spot on and I was starting to see some things I haven't seen from myself in years, especially the courage to push myself to places I'd usually back down from; very encouraging and exciting stuff. As we know, however, being fit physically is only part of the equation; and to be honest I had some confidence in my mental fitness as well, going in and feeling confident in my abilities and my training. Confidence is king, however, I overlooked some things and will be discussing them here. Let's just say my process was incomplete and I'm comfortable sharing how and why. 

This is a post about the mistakes I made. How awesome is that? I'm comfortable with it, so I'll share. So ironic and fitting this is the follow up post to last week's, by the way!

You see, the great thing about racing- although a bit uncomfortable to think about- is that it exposes things we cannot see during our daily routine of training. Not shocking but still a bit of a buzzkill nonetheless. Sorry kids-it you want easy and predictable, you might want to try something other than running. But if you are into the journey and okay with things not always working out, keep reading!

So about that race...

I'll be honest with you all, I'm not into writing race reports anymore; I don't think anyone really cares about splits and what shoes I wore or what time I arrived at the venue, etc. What I do still like to do is get a little introspective and deconstruct the events I do in the name of improving my own mental game and perhaps helping one or two other people out in the process. But for the record, I will say that my first mile was pretty fast (more on that later) and that at some point after the finish I was laying down on the sidewalk, and I wore New Balance 1400 v5's-that's all you're getting. And if you haven't laid down on the sidewalk after a race, I recommend it at least once, just for experience sake!  Okay, back to the topic at hand, mental stuff-

For starters, the conditions and just the nature of the race course yesterday were not ideal for fast times: temps hung around 70 degrees and humidity likely 90+ percent. While Houston's Allen Parkway is nothing treacherous, it does warrant attention to detail and smart pacing to navigate successfully. I'll be completely honest here, the sport psych professional got some of her mental weaknesses exposed; and this is a good thing because it's data for me to work with moving forward. 

In all fairness, there's only so much physiologically we can do when the dew point rises, however, we do have control over how we manage the situation. This is where I get to tell you guys the things I messed up on. Why would I do this? First, it keeps me accountable, second and more importantly, I value being open and real with y'all. We all get to learn and re-learn together.

Deconstructing the race:

So I gotta go with the positives and takeaways first, as there were several. First, I had a good time, I enjoy the sport and I enjoy my teammates and coach and that reaches beyond any performance, period. I also took home some hardware and my team, the Houston Harriers, wrecked shop. In fact, myself and two other fast ladies with the same uniform swept the age group podium. I was able to stay levelheaded despite having some holes in my mental game (more on that later).  I also showed some improvement with dealing with harsh weather relative to previous seasons, and as previously mentioned, didn't hold back as I was horizontal in front of a big granite building looking at the sky for a few minutes afterward. They did have sno-cones at the finish line too and I had no qualms getting after one despite being well over 30. 

Now for the fun part. Let's say my mental game resembled a beautiful, well-aged, solid piece of Swiss cheese: substantive, but you can see through it in some spots. How's that for an analogy!? And I actually don't like Swiss cheese that much, actually....

"I can't see!"

Okay, I actually could, but not clearly in my minds eye. First and perhaps the biggest error was that I didn't spend hardly any time visualizing. This in the past has been shown to be very helpful as I can link most of my best races with having a clear picture of not just me running well (to me, the least important part), but in dealing with things that are challenging, unexpected, and not the most pleasant to think about. And if you run in Houston at all you know that well, road racing through the streets of H-Town brings some curve balls. Like weather that makes you feel like you're chewing on a sweater and wearing one at the same time (did that come out right? whatever, moving on....) 

In the past, I have mentally rehearsed dealing with hills, making adjustments, and staying strong on the course. Professionally, say if I am giving a talk or presentation, I nearly always spend time visualizing my delivery, body language, and what to do, say, if the audience is not responding the way I anticipate-and I usually walk away strong. While running is not my livelihood, it is important enough for me to think twice about how I mentally prepare. 

For this race, I may have run through a time or two for this one, but didn't get any repetition in and ran without a true blueprint. Side note: I hardly run downtown being a suburbanite, so my recon is not the best. My lack of structure and pre-loaded decision-making became apparent halfway through the race when it became apparent that I didn't manage my energy properly. How? Too fast a start for too humid of a race. That too, needs to be factored in as something to rehearse beforehand. After I hit a bit of a humidity wall I had difficulty focusing and deciding what to do and what adjustments to make-even what to say to myself to keep me engaged and managing the pain train more effectively. At parts, my head and body were practically fighting each other instead of embracing what the day brought.  

Now I a reminder that I need to account for the course, conditions, who's there-actually running my own race a better strategy-and just making my own personal YouTube how-to video to perform on race day. Boom. Fool me once... Tip for the class: mentally rehearse both amazing performance and your garden variety snafu (or random unfortunate events)  until you're comfortable with these. Trust me, you're pre-loading your memory for more automatic processing instead of getting all confused and tight. Like the next paragraph illustrates.

Why so tense? 

Visualization, easy patch to install in my software and a great reminder. Now comes the stranger part. I woke up morning after sore: of course the usual quads and hamstrings giving me feedback; this time my biceps and forearms were screaming. What the heck?! To me, a screaming upper body indicates lack of relaxation-like I was trying to grab a hold of something (sorry, A, you cannot grab the air and pull yourself through it!). Like I said, I give myself an A + for effort, given my ARMS hurt after running. Running. Yes, running. It happens.

Just like in any race, there are moments where you may feel like your mind and body are at odds, some more than others. For me, this race brought the latter and I believe it elevated tension levels. Hence the sore arms. Since we're all about being candid here today, with some of the stress out there not all my thoughts were positive and research states that negative thinking increases muscle tension. Going out a little too hard also likely made me swing like a scared prize fighter in the later stages too.

This is a great lesson and reminder in making sure I focus more on what I can control during the race and not falling into the trap of forcing things-another mental error I made. Off the record, I can't help but applaud myself for getting as much out of myself as I could-giving my best effort is always a goal and I can check that box with a big fat sharpie.

So what to do for that? Early and often, think about what you're thinking about. No matter how you're training's gone, be prepared to 'solve for x'. Be flexible and adjust pacing. Progressively check in with different areas for excess tension and release as best you can on the run. Accept what the day brings. All of these may be helpful in the future. That and take in lots of sodium. That may help too! And for me, incorporate a more relaxed start so I'm not at terminal velocity at the beginning and have to hang on for the duration of the race. (You bet I'll be mentally rehearsing that stuff!)

I forgot my "thing"!

Routine. This is relatively minor, but I know I left some things out of my pre-race routine, notably at the start line. I always do 5-5 cadence breathing, but I neglected/forgot to do my "secret" thing that always seems to put me in a more focused mindset and transition from the chaos of the start to my own space. Maybe I'll tell you guys about it sometime. Maybe.

Fortunately, this is another simple thing to re-incorporate.

So I'm sure some of you are saying in your heads, "it's a first race of the season, why so hard on yourself?". Actually, I'm not really that disappointed, I got what I got for the day and enjoyed the rest of the event. I do, however, have this drive to always be growing and learning and if I'm going to spend time on something, I may as well put solid effort and prep into it, especially, well, knowing what I know and telling people on the daily to do the aforementioned things.

So, to wrap this thing up, the bottom line is this: find what works. Make a commitment and priority to doing what works. I encourage everyone to run diagnostics after competing to find ways to grow or things to include or exclude. This is the 'journey' part I mentioned earlier-and admit it, this is a lot of the reason why we run or do hard things-the constant and consistent quest to get the most our of ourselves. That's why I still do this. What about you?

Thanks for reading and listening to my thoughts.