The Art of Letting Go: Self-Doubt
Let the audience be forewarned that a somewhat rambling and incoherent post may lie ahead. But if you don't care about that-read on. Because I think this topic is so relevant for so many; I know it is for me. We're going to talk about beliefs and letting go of those ideas that just serve no purpose in our lives.
So life is all messy and stuff sometimes. The older I get the more I understand this is a prerequisite for truly living. You can't grow if you don't ever go through things-big things, small things, whatever. Sorry to disappoint any of you, by the way. This blog is not really about playing it safe.
So when we go through things-anything like a personal or professional failure, a failing grade, or a sub-par race (or for me literally years of that mess) it can stay with you-we hold on to these experiences, often unconsciously for a long friggin' time. These beliefs can change how we perceive ourselves and they're sneaky little suckers. Not that we mean for this to happen, it just does sometimes.
I know this is true for me. I'll use a running example here because, well, running is one of the things I seem to understand the most. What spearheaded this post was just an ordinary workout on the roads with my friends. *Side note* Those close to me know my many years of struggle to get back to a relative competitive level and how stubborn I am to stay on this course. However, many negative experiences both on and off the roads have left more of a mark than I would have liked. So yes, "Sport Psych Girl" has dealt with many a season of self-doubt, shaky confidence, questioning what I was doing-all that stuff. By the way, have I ever told you guys that you constantly have to work on your mental game??
So about that workout....
Now that we have the background outta the way, let's move on. The basics: a "Storey Special" was scheduled-meaning an 8-mile progression run working down to about 6:30 pace. For some of you, this doesn't sound like a big deal, for others, this probably sounds like crazy town (all relative, ya know). For me-its a battle between my current good fitness and the false belief that I'm pretty mediocre compared to a former version of my athlete self (Note: comparing yourself to yourself, um, not the brightest idea) . Up until recently, nothing seemed to test my confidence more than pushing the pace for a relatively long distance after struggling to execute in the past. So this is an area I'm really trying to focus on and just relax and let all the work register-you know, stay outta my own way and everything and be open to doing some cool stuff.
I was fortunate to start this run off with a couple friends-so there was some instant positive energy there. It started out silly slow and then we started working it down to the pace where previously I hit the mental stage of questioning if I can hit the paces (why?!). As I was beginning to mentally constrict, the release unexpectedly came with just a simple comment from my friend of "Adrienne you look so relaxed". That's it. An idea that runs contraflow to a false idea. Novel isn't it?! Hmmm... "she may just be right-I am relaxed" "Holy crow, this is actually easy...and it's okay for it to be easy!"
Within a mile I had decided to- at least for this run, be open to another "voice" and let go of the idea that I was going to get my a@$ handed to me. It really doesn't have to be that way, kids; trust me. Just like I tell my athletes, self-doubt is optional and we can release it's grip at any time. And I smashed this workout. Feedback can be a powerful thing-but we must be open to receive it. Of course, this was just one run; but my point is that we should question what's real about our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities to do things very often. It's little moments like this that can be important in the grand scheme and start chipping away at doubt.
So about the bigger picture...
My point of this was not to show off how good of a runner I am because there are so many good runners out there. Nor am I claiming I have superior mental strength. I actually work very hard at both of those things because they are my passions-not because they come naturally. And because they are my passions I like to make linkages to life in general from them. To me, letting go of false ideas is a process and starts with even the smallest of experiences. To go a little deeper-think about the things we hold near to us that don't help us? Like those beliefs that we're only "so good" at something, or we can only have certain things (again, why?!). Who says we can't?
So here are some takeaways from this too-long and rambling post:
First, pay attention to what is actually happening in an event or during a challenge instead of what you think is happening. Beliefs are powerful things, people.
The events I mentioned earlier that shape our beliefs are neither positive or negative, it is our response to them.
Now think about this: if we just made a decision every day, or took just a moment or two to just be present in what we do? What about making a decision to trust your work/ability and believe in yourself? Not to go all Brene Brown on you all here, but in today's world, we need to give ourselves permission to not judge who we are or what we're doing (like my good runner-mediocre runner debate). And Brene, if you're reading-sorry! ;)
To put it in another way: make small, frequent efforts to not use the past to color your perception of a situation or think about what the results of your actions will be (think mindfulness). This is how ultimately we grow and change. Try this perspective on while doing challenging things.
So...hope some of you are all still reading and I applaud those who got to the end of my attempt to tie a workout to a much, much broader perspective. So make mistakes, mess something up, go do something you didn't think you could do and prove yourself wrong. Repeat as many times as necessary.
So life is all messy and stuff sometimes. The older I get the more I understand this is a prerequisite for truly living. You can't grow if you don't ever go through things-big things, small things, whatever. Sorry to disappoint any of you, by the way. This blog is not really about playing it safe.
So when we go through things-anything like a personal or professional failure, a failing grade, or a sub-par race (or for me literally years of that mess) it can stay with you-we hold on to these experiences, often unconsciously for a long friggin' time. These beliefs can change how we perceive ourselves and they're sneaky little suckers. Not that we mean for this to happen, it just does sometimes.
I know this is true for me. I'll use a running example here because, well, running is one of the things I seem to understand the most. What spearheaded this post was just an ordinary workout on the roads with my friends. *Side note* Those close to me know my many years of struggle to get back to a relative competitive level and how stubborn I am to stay on this course. However, many negative experiences both on and off the roads have left more of a mark than I would have liked. So yes, "Sport Psych Girl" has dealt with many a season of self-doubt, shaky confidence, questioning what I was doing-all that stuff. By the way, have I ever told you guys that you constantly have to work on your mental game??
So about that workout....
Now that we have the background outta the way, let's move on. The basics: a "Storey Special" was scheduled-meaning an 8-mile progression run working down to about 6:30 pace. For some of you, this doesn't sound like a big deal, for others, this probably sounds like crazy town (all relative, ya know). For me-its a battle between my current good fitness and the false belief that I'm pretty mediocre compared to a former version of my athlete self (Note: comparing yourself to yourself, um, not the brightest idea) . Up until recently, nothing seemed to test my confidence more than pushing the pace for a relatively long distance after struggling to execute in the past. So this is an area I'm really trying to focus on and just relax and let all the work register-you know, stay outta my own way and everything and be open to doing some cool stuff.
I was fortunate to start this run off with a couple friends-so there was some instant positive energy there. It started out silly slow and then we started working it down to the pace where previously I hit the mental stage of questioning if I can hit the paces (why?!). As I was beginning to mentally constrict, the release unexpectedly came with just a simple comment from my friend of "Adrienne you look so relaxed". That's it. An idea that runs contraflow to a false idea. Novel isn't it?! Hmmm... "she may just be right-I am relaxed" "Holy crow, this is actually easy...and it's okay for it to be easy!"
Within a mile I had decided to- at least for this run, be open to another "voice" and let go of the idea that I was going to get my a@$ handed to me. It really doesn't have to be that way, kids; trust me. Just like I tell my athletes, self-doubt is optional and we can release it's grip at any time. And I smashed this workout. Feedback can be a powerful thing-but we must be open to receive it. Of course, this was just one run; but my point is that we should question what's real about our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities to do things very often. It's little moments like this that can be important in the grand scheme and start chipping away at doubt.
So about the bigger picture...
My point of this was not to show off how good of a runner I am because there are so many good runners out there. Nor am I claiming I have superior mental strength. I actually work very hard at both of those things because they are my passions-not because they come naturally. And because they are my passions I like to make linkages to life in general from them. To me, letting go of false ideas is a process and starts with even the smallest of experiences. To go a little deeper-think about the things we hold near to us that don't help us? Like those beliefs that we're only "so good" at something, or we can only have certain things (again, why?!). Who says we can't?
So here are some takeaways from this too-long and rambling post:
First, pay attention to what is actually happening in an event or during a challenge instead of what you think is happening. Beliefs are powerful things, people.
The events I mentioned earlier that shape our beliefs are neither positive or negative, it is our response to them.
Now think about this: if we just made a decision every day, or took just a moment or two to just be present in what we do? What about making a decision to trust your work/ability and believe in yourself? Not to go all Brene Brown on you all here, but in today's world, we need to give ourselves permission to not judge who we are or what we're doing (like my good runner-mediocre runner debate). And Brene, if you're reading-sorry! ;)
To put it in another way: make small, frequent efforts to not use the past to color your perception of a situation or think about what the results of your actions will be (think mindfulness). This is how ultimately we grow and change. Try this perspective on while doing challenging things.
So...hope some of you are all still reading and I applaud those who got to the end of my attempt to tie a workout to a much, much broader perspective. So make mistakes, mess something up, go do something you didn't think you could do and prove yourself wrong. Repeat as many times as necessary.
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