Silver Linings Playbook

Brace yourselves, fellas, it’s about to get kinda real up in here…

That and I totally ripped the title from the 2012 film with Bradley Cooper. Sorry Bradley.

Okay, now that you’ve been warned, let’s get dirty. This is a story about a low-key race I did recently that went both really well and not-so-well at the same time. In my opinion, these ones are really valuable to becoming mentally more resilient, because we’re left with the choice of choosing which side of the performance you want to put more of your emphasis on: the positive takeaways or the “wish I would have’s/if only’s/why couldn’t I’s”. I think you get where I’m going with this.

As the above paragraph alludes, I found myself right in the middle of that dilemma after a race effort and am sharing with all you fine people not because I think I’m awesome and have superior mental strength (truth: a constant work in progress), but that I keep learning things and trying to teach the reader all the same.

While I’ve been racing for a good 11-plus years now, I still find myself falling into the habit of taking what I do seriously and analytically; even if the event itself isn’t big or important. This is not entirely a bad thing-I’m a believer in that if you’re going to do something, give it all you have for that given day (emphasis italicize portion, it’s important!). Probably just how I’m wired. But anyway, if you know me at all, this is not surprising. Okay, moving on…

Naturally, when finish an effort where I feel things didn’t go to plan, I-just like those who’s darkened my office doors- face some disappointment- at least initially. Today was one of those days. Long story short, I placed well but ran a time that left me scratching my head a little bit, despite the humid conditions, heat, blah, blah. I do know if you do this long enough, it happens. It’s part of the sport of running. It does, however, kinda suck when it happens. Just being honest.

But what about being positive and reframing experience and all that stuff?? Glad you asked.

< Insert perspective here >

Basically, the run went like this: I start well, think I’m pacing well (I’m not wearing a watch, mind you, and it’s not one of the best courses for fast times to begin with) and the hot and humid conditions start to register. I do my best to focus on my running form, useful thoughts, and staying engaged only to run something over a minute slower than I thought I would do.  *Quick aside: regardless of how you’re race is going, you still want to engage in a similar process.

This is where that mental state of ‘no man’s land’ registers where you’re left trying to reconcile with the results vs the run as a whole. In this particular case, I managed second overall, but man, I worked hard for something I initially wasn’t happy with. Okay, I can picture at least half of you shaking your heads at your computer (or phone) screens right now, thinking “but you ; placed well…what’s the problem?” Yeah, I get it. And believe me, those thoughts passed through my cranium more than once-you know, you have to be your own best support system out there!

After sitting on the curb beginning to overthink something totally not worth overthinking, I switched back to into my trainers and started cooling down. This is the space where I like to process races; both ‘good” and “bad”. Naturally, I contemplated which way to go-to be happy that I stayed tough up front and womaned up as best I can (yes, womaned up is a real word in my book!), or the intrusive thought of “wow, Adrienne, you’re really losing your stuff”. You get the idea and I bet most of you have gone through this mental tennis match before. Then I got some help in an unlikely place.

Thank goodness that I’ve matured emotionally in my 30’s and have started to get better at perspective.

Line that thing with silver…

After cooling down, if that’s even possible in 82-degree weather (not an exaggeration), I was approached by the dad of a young girl who also did the race and little did he know, this changed the morning: “I just wanted to know that my daughter wants to run just like you someday”. Even I need reminders every now and again that it is not about the clock but the example I set to others out there-especially at this stage of my athletic life. Had I not put my best foot forward for the day in, or not still walked around smiling despite working through mixed feelings, this conversation probably wouldn’t have happened. Sometimes it just takes a moment to change our mindsets. 

Alright, sooo…. what’s the point of this story? Adrienne’s fragile ego? (not intended, by the way!) 

Think about it: our perception differs from the perception of others, and usually, others are much more kind to us than we are to ourselves (reread that sentence, then again and think about that one). The message here is that effort and performance are very relative and finding the takeaways should never be lost on us. If we can’t find the answers within, listen to others when they say kind things instead of thinking or saying “yes, but _____”.

Even on a rough day for us-we still can have a positive influence on others. In just a short exchange, my  passion for helping and mentoring young people, especially young female runners, was stoked. Maybe this is why I’m still at it. My relationship with running and racing is a constantly-evolving thing and it is beginning to become more defined by experience, the people-and although I’m no Kara Goucher-and how can I use this absurd pursuit and pastime to help others along. I don’t know about you folks, but at the end of the day, I think this is what sport is ultimately all about.

On to the next.

Thanks for reading.